Thursday, September 14, 2006

Canandaigua Homecoming circa 2007

Well folks, I have downloaded and mailed my application for permit to enter next year's Canandaigua Homecoming Parade. I was a bit late this year, but I've found the perfect chariot to keep all my ex's swooning on my triumphant return to Dullsville. Behold:

So who cares about this van, right? Well, I for fucking one do, because it's the school colors (Cherry and Gray, bitches), and I'll be fulfilling my patriotic duties of scaring up some Ontario Country trim - all the benefits of white trash without any of the guilt!

It'll be perfect, the theme is probably going to be board games, so I'll easily slide in between the giant Hungry Hippo float and the poorly constructed Connect 4 Board.

What accessories (besides rope) should I bring to this event:
Old Canandaigua Football Jersey (check)
Dollar Store Condoms (check)
30 Pack of Genessee Cream Ale (check)

I'm not crazy about those windows though, so I think I'll put in custom curtains, something along the lines of "Go Braves" with this logo:


Blogger D Keaveney said...

There are some accessories that you're forgetting:

duct tape (clearly)
a video camera (home made porn, the best kind)
and last but not least, bleach wipes (to wipe fingerprints).

2:44 PM  
Blogger D Keaveney said...

Also, KY. Why not? is what i say.

3:17 PM  
Blogger Greggor2 said...

I run "The Sound." I want your van as an equipment truck!!!! What a great tax write-off!

7:08 PM  

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