Monday, August 14, 2006

Once Upon a Time in Montana

So. I'm driving along this highway in Montana, halfway between Kalispell and Missoula, minding my own business and helping myself to some Taco Bell. It was a beautiful day, I had just been hiking and the glory of the mountains had me in a terrific mood, etc.

Then I saw these.

Let's consider them one at time.

1.) The maroon one.
Hello?? Does that look like a giant, blacked-out mural to anyone else? It sure does to me. Let's speculate on what sort of image is under there. A giant tiger leaping through the brush? An Indian with a spear? But why black such magnificent paintings out? I think it's a mural of the driver himself, which he immediately had to paint over as soon as said image appeared on America's Most Wanted. I think the image looked something like this:

Oh. My. God.

2.) The blue one.

This use of color almost makes it non-threatening (so fun! so playful!). WRONG. so wrong. enjoy this van's color scheme at your own risk.

These two vans together are like Sauron and Sauroman. Lord Vader and... whoever that Chancellor guy was. Bush and Cheney. Don't you get the feeling that the maroon van is the experienced, evil van and it's teaching the blue van the ways of the dark side? "Hey, friend, wanna take an innocent trip to the elementary school later on? Nothing major, we'll just idle around for a while... then maybe pick up a sixer of Schlitz and hit the playground on Rte. 4..."


Blogger D Keaveney said...

I was with JR in Montana, where we spotted these fraternal twins. We had to pull a u-turn on a semi-dangerous highway just to get a better look. The maroon one with the blacked out mural was the leader. The blue one was the subordinate. You could just tell. Something about the vibe coming off the maroon one screamed "I'VE KILLED (and done other stuff)". The blue one was more like "Let me watch." A lot more subdued.

3:45 PM  

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